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Entry 1

 

Intro

8/29/2024 - Welcome to the next roughly six+ months of my life! maybe more! oh boy!

Here is where I'm going to be documenting my overall thoughts and development on my senior thesis project, as it is required as a part of the grade that I keep a devlog. Posting it here wasn't a part of that requirement, but I thought it'd be easier to share. Whether you're a friend I sent this to or someone just happening upon my little corner of the web, welcome! I'm going to be doing a lot of yapping <3

For the time being I've named this project Farer Dreamer. In summary, it's a 3D (…maybe sometimes 2.5D) exploration game where you ride a subway car to… well wherever it decides to take you really. You'll explore the random levels the subway takes you to and maybe meet some interesting characters on your journey.

Admittedly this project is more of a last minute decision as opposed to something that's been marinating in the back of my mind for the past four years, but maybe that's for the best. With how I'm currently envisioning this project going, this thesis is only the beginning of what could be a larger thing if I so choose to continue working on it after the due date. I can add as much or as little as I want, as long as I get the basic gameplay loop working I'll be happy. Of course I'll try to shoot for more than just that but I also am not going to bite off more than I can chew.

I can already foresee my biggest challenge with this project being the 3D elements, as most of the games I have made in the past have been 2D. I do have experience with 3D modeling, texturing, animation, and some rigging but it's definitely something I'd like to get better at and I think this would be a nice way of doing just that! But outside of using this as an opportunity to really polish the new skills I've accumulated throughout my time at school (3D, animation, and GASP! coding… the horror!)

Another thing I think I am going to struggle a bit with is with working collaboratively. Not in the sense that I'm opposed to that and haven't done collaborative work in the past, one of my finals last semester was a game the my entire game concepts 2 class worked on together, and I've happily helped out on numerous friends films. But my struggle here would be that this is the first time I'd be welcoming help on a project that I am directing, as my other projects in the past have been solo endeavors. I definitely have some trouble when it comes to reaching out for help outside of my friend group, but this will be a great opportunity for me to do just that I think.

I want this project to serve as a way for me to reconnect with art and why I do it. See, for awhile now I've been grappling with myself if I've made a mistake going down this path, fearing that I'm not cut out for the work, that I've lost my passion and that I should've pursued something else instead. Realistically, I know a lot of that is that annoying negative inner voice most of us have to battle, but there is a crumb of truth to all this moping: the loss of passion. As I've gotten closer and closer to entering the professional world, I've been noticing that I am almost restricting myself in my art and what I make and put out into the world in what I only assume to be an attempt to be AS appealing and corporate/professional as possible when that's just?? not me. at all. Though again I do feel like at least part of this is coming from that little internal voice that likes to chew me out for literally anything I find enjoyment in that's even remotely "cringe". POINT IS, this has lead to what I've been calling a "disconnect" between myself and my art and why I create, leading to me feeling shame for my work and it's been impacting my enthusiasm for art overall. I'm hoping by allowing myself to experiment and "play" with my art again through this project, that I'll be able to rekindle some of that passion I've been losing.

TLDR; The main core idea of my thesis is that you can really just sit down and make a thing and now that exists in the world, and even if it's not perfect.. if it's weird, messy, or whatever, that's pretty damn neat and deserves a place in the world. I've realized that more often than not with my projects I spend too much time stressing about them being perfect instead of enjoying the process of creating them and/or using them as opportunities to learn, explore, and maybe even get silly with it y'know? I feel like the projects where I've allowed myself to get silly with it often wind up being my favorite works, and I hope this winds up being one of those.

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